Office Funnies

Holy shit this is funny. I'm seriously in tears here. omg. sooy funny, cracked up here. wow.

10 ways to make yourself popular at the office

10. Keep telling the same person that they have bad breath even if they don't, and then punch them in the mouth.

9. Announce in a meeting that you have AIDS. After everyone gives you the sympathy remarks.. tell everyone how you're just kidding.. and tell them that they are all a bunch of queers.

8. Before a meeting, fill your mouth with custard- then during the meeting put one finger in the air and make like you are hocking up a big loogie - then spit the custard into a clear glass and hand it to the person next to you and say 'Beat that!'

7. Inform a male coworker that he 'wouldn't make a good hooker,' then piss in his coffee and tell him he needs a good 'ass fucking.'

6. Always walk around with a big smile and keep one hand down the front of your pants.

5. Answer every question asked to you with 'fuck if I know!' then call the person a racial slur that doesn't even match their race.

4. Brag about the fact that you own a gun, and keep playing with your nuts. Get them really sweaty, and then walk around shaking everyone's hand.

3. Run down the hall with your dick out while urinating all over and yell, 'It won't stop! God help me! It don't stop!' Then when it stops... look down and say... 'Oh!'

2. Ask to borrow someone's pen- bring it to the bathroom - stick it in your butt - return it and tell the person to smell it - when they tell you that it smells bad - be like, 'It should! I had it in my butt!'

1. Shit on the floor in your office and when someone comes in and sees it, tell them it's the fake plastic kind- when they try to pick it up, and realize that their hand is full of shit, laugh and point.