what's up w/ this picture

Yo, what is going on in this pic?? And don't tell me that it's merely a depiction of fellatio, there has to be a deeper meaning. Ya dig? View it, you hear.

http://img389.imageshack.us/img389/9245/lanyka5qf.jpg

woman steals police car

LOLZ!! the cop says, "no I wont give you a ride why don't you take a cab" So in response she steals his squad car! That's awesome. There's something fishy about the cops account of events here. The cop claims that he shot at the car because she was trying to run him over, yet the car is described as fleeing the scene, i.e.... driving away from the officers. Even money says the cop shot at the car from behind and the woman never tried to run him over, he was likely enraged after this broad stole his cruiser!

Thursday, September 15, 2005
Local Digest
Woman charged in theft of police car

Prosecutors have filed charges against a woman they say stole a police car parked in front of Harborview Medical Center, prompting an officer to shoot out the windshield of the fleeing vehicle.

No one was injured in the Sept. 10 shooting, and the officer who fired the shots has been put on paid administration leave while the incident is investigated. According to court documents, police said the woman, Leslie Christine Morfin, 43, appeared to be trying to run them down.

Morfin told police she'd stolen the car after the officers, who had been called to the hospital to investigate a domestic disturbance, refused to give her a ride to West Seattle and suggested she take a cab instead.

Morfin, who has been charged with theft of a motor vehicle, is scheduled to be arraigned Wednesday.

smash n' grab

This is a pretty neat story. I like how they say 'tackle', do they really mean the driver was actually tackled? Or is this a play on words since the person involved is a former football player? I think it's a bad pun myself, reading the story it's apparent that the drunk driver was probably dragged through the window by the former CFL player who punched his way through the glass to stop the vehicle from leaving the scene of the accident. Had someone struck my wife and kids in a crosswalk while drunk driving, hell I'd do a lot worse to them

Former CFL player tackels suspected drunk driver

Thursday, September 15, 2005 Page S5

EDMONTON -- A former Canadian Football League player caught and tackled a suspected drunk driver after his wife and son were struck in a crosswalk near Disneyland in California.

Michael Hildebrand's wife, Christine, was in intensive care in a Los Angeles-area hospital yesterday. She was expected to return to Edmonton by private aircraft today. The couple's seven-year-old son, Nolan, and a 10-year-old-friend whose family was travelling with the Hildebrands, both escaped serious injury.

Christine's younger sister, Heather Halpern, said had it not been for Hildebrand's actions, the driver of the car would have got away. "He's kind of like the hero," Halpern said. "I don't know how he did it." The two families had left Disneyland and were on their way back to their hotel on the first day of their vacation Monday when the crash happened around 8:30 p.m.

Christine and the two boys were crossing with the green light at a marked crosswalk when they were struck. Halpern said her brother-in-law saw the car, a Toyota Camry, moments before it struck and reached out to grab his family and the boy, but was too late.

Hildebrand, who was a defensive back for the Edmonton Eskimos and the Toronto Argonauts in 1989 and 1990, chased after the car and smashed his fist through the windshield to make it stop. Christine, a dental assistant, sustained facial injuries and had surgery for a broken leg. According to NBC news reports, a 53-year-old man was arrested and charged with being under the influence of alcohol.

Whorehouse raided

Oh, man this sucks.

News Briefs 9/16/05
September 14, 2005

Police Close Illegal Massage Parlor

County Police closed down an illegal massage parlor off of Chevrolet Drive in Ellicott City Sept. 7.

Police received numerous complaints of prostitution at the location. The business, Presence of Mind, was determined by detectives as not possessing a license as a massage parlor.

Detectives determined that the employees were providing sexual acts to customers in exchange for money and that Presence of Mind’s owner, Dana Zimmerman, was receiving a portion of the money paid to employees for the sex acts.

Four people including Zimmerman, 38, of Ellicott City, Amber Linn, 20, of Baltimore, Christina Perry, 25, of Catonsville, and Robert Williams, 42, of Columbia, were arrested as a result of a search warrant.

elephants killed for wanting to be free

Here's another story with basically the same plot. I think this is despicable.

Six elephants shot dead after S.Africa park escape
13 Sep 2005 08:53:19 GMT

Source: Reuters
JOHANNESBURG, Sept 13 (Reuters) - Six elephants were shot dead last week after they broke out of South Africa's famed Kruger National Park, a park spokesman said on Tuesday.

William Mabasa said the elephants escaped from the park on Thursday afternoon and were then driven back into it. "But then on Friday we received a report that they were about 20 kms (12 miles) west of the park," he said. "It was difficult to push them back into the park from that distance and they were near a school, posing a danger to local villagers. So a decision was taken to put them down."

Mabasa said meat from the animals had been given to the local community. He said there was no apparent reason for the behaviour of the elephants, which broke through a fence. Kruger covers an area roughly the same size as Israel.

It has seen its elephant population swell to nearly 12,000 from around 7,000 a decade ago, when the practice of using lethal culls to contain numbers was stopped in the face of international protests. Some scientists believe elephant numbers at Kruger are reaching breaking point, with the confined wilderness unable to provide the giant animals with enough food.

chimps killed after escaping zoo

That's really awful, why did they have to be shot? Why are animals so afraid of 'wild' animals? It seems like these stories where captive creatures escape always end badly for the animals. I remember a similliar story in florida about an escaped puma, it was killed by sheriff's deputies. This shit makes me very sad. What could those chimps possibly do that was worth their lives?

Chimps Shot Dead After Zoo Escape
September 13, 2005 8:00 a.m. EST

Hector Duarte Jr. - All Headline News Staff Reporter

Royal, NE (AHN) - A zoo director says three chimpanzees were shot and killed after escaping from their enclosure at a small-town zoo.

Ken Schluter Jr. says the chimps managed to get out of their cage at Zoo Nebraska on Saturday because a padlock was not completely closed after cleaning. When a tranquilizer gun proved to have no effect, he killed the animals using a deputy's service revolver . State patrol spokeswoman Deb Collins says no one was hurt.

Schluter says once the chimps broke out, visitors were moved into an office area. The chimps, weighing up to 300 pounds, then tried to get into the building. Two of them were shot with a tranquilizer gun, but after five minutes, the sedative had not taken effect. When it was obvious they were a danger to those inside, they were killed. A fourth primate escaped, but quickly returned to its cage.

Their carcasses were flown Sunday to a zoo in St. Louis, where autopsies are planned. The zoo is located in Royal, a northeastern Nebraska village of 75. One of its major donors was the late Johnny Carson.

Tokyoflash.com phat watches!

Holy shit some of these watches on this website are amazing looking, with nonstandard methods for displaying the time. I gotta get me one of thems!! check it out.

http://www.tokyoflash.com

more kiss kiss, bang bang please!

Instead of anchoring a plot driven spy film with solid writing and good acting, Brosnan feels the series could best be benefited by more explosions and T&A. great.....

Hollywood News
Posted on 12 Sep 2005 # ANI
Brosnan wants more sex for Bond!

Washington: Former James Bond star Pierce Brosnan believes that the 007 producers need to make the next movie sexier and more violent, or risk its failure at the box-office.

The four-times James Bond star, who is alleged to leave the ladies shaken and stirred, has reportedly requested the filmmakers to spice up their next movie by adding hotter ‘n’ steamier sex-scenes to ensure it is a hit all-over.

“You’re not even allowed to show a bl**dy nipple. It’s pathetic. What Bond needs is a good, palpable killing sequence and a good sex scene,” Contactmusic quoted the 52-year-old hunk as saying.

400 pound elephant, gone?

That's going to be difficult to pawn. Who would steal such a thing? Teenagers, without a doubt. I remember going to a party back in '03, we were playing beer pong on a highway sign advertising a liquor store, the kids who brought it to the party said they 'accidently' hit it with their car while drunk driving. That was a wild party.

400-pound elephant sculpture stolen from Natick business

NATICK, Mass. Police in Natick are investigating a theft that must have required some heavy lifting. A 400-pound elephant sculpture was reported stolen from a local business this week.

The elephant's owners, Dennis and Myrna Starr, say they noticed the handcarved, granite sculpture was missing when they returned home from Cape Cod. It had been on display at Natick Memorial Works on Pond Street. The couple says a 250-pound Japanese-style lantern pagoda was also was stolen.

Dennis Starr told the MetroWest Daily News he's offering a reward for the elephant's return. And he says it won't be peanuts. Starr said the elephant is worth about 25-hundred dollars. His wife says it originally took three men with a dolly to move the granite pachyderm.

Copyright 2005 Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.

drunk russian goes to jail

Man I sure am glad I have never called a prank into 911 cause I was too drunk to know any better. At our keg party last Saturday someone decided to spray the fire extinguisher all over the second floor landing. Seeing the dust covering the hallway really brought me back to freshmen year at college. That's kind of the same thing, right? :shrug:

Drunk Russian Arrested for Putin Plane Bomb Hoax

Created: 12.09.2005 14:02 MSK (GMT +3), Updated: 14:02 MSK, 5 hours 55 minutes ago

MosNews

Moscow police have detained a man who reported a false bomb threat to President Putin’s plane. He was caught after police traced his phone call to a cell phone operator. The man was drunk.

Moscow police received the report of a bomb planted on board the presidential plane on Sunday, Sept. 11. Earlier an anonymous caller contacted a cell phone operator and claimed that Vladimir Putin’s plane would blow up 40 minutes after the call. The man also said he was on a federal wanted list for murder.

The caller was detained soon afterwards at his home. He was in a state of extreme intoxication. The “phone terrorist” may face up to three years in prison for reporting a false terrorist attack.

It transpired that the suspect’s ex-wife is an employee at the Vnukovo-2 airport.

See no evil dude sets record

It's amazing that records are kept for this feat, I mean where is it going to end, 175, 200MPH?? The sky is the limit, it'll take one horrific accident to ruin this quest for any blind kid dreaming of staking his claim to fame at the salt flats in Utah.

World's fastest blind driver..

Sep 9, 11:25 AM (ET)

MAFIKENG, South Africa (Reuters) - A South African became the world's fastest blind driver Thursday after driving across a remote airstrip at 269 kph (167 mph).

Blind since birth, 33-year-old Hein Wagner of Cape Town had a sighted navigator for his record attempt. After crossing the airfield, he told reporters he wanted to do it again but was considering piloting an aircraft for his next record attempt. "I'm very happy," said Wagner, whose drive in a borrowed Maserati V8 GranSport was monitored by motoring organization Motorsport SA and filmed for the Guinness Book of World Records.

The drive, on an airstrip near South Africa's border with Botswana, was aimed at increasing public awareness of problems facing blind people and raising money for a national charity for the blind. The previous record, set by a blind British bank manager, was 233 kph (145 mph). "I drove it with no insurance. No one wanted to give any to us," Wagner told national news agency SAPA.

Office Funnies

Holy shit this is funny. I'm seriously in tears here. omg. sooy funny, cracked up here. wow.

10 ways to make yourself popular at the office

10. Keep telling the same person that they have bad breath even if they don't, and then punch them in the mouth.

9. Announce in a meeting that you have AIDS. After everyone gives you the sympathy remarks.. tell everyone how you're just kidding.. and tell them that they are all a bunch of queers.

8. Before a meeting, fill your mouth with custard- then during the meeting put one finger in the air and make like you are hocking up a big loogie - then spit the custard into a clear glass and hand it to the person next to you and say 'Beat that!'

7. Inform a male coworker that he 'wouldn't make a good hooker,' then piss in his coffee and tell him he needs a good 'ass fucking.'

6. Always walk around with a big smile and keep one hand down the front of your pants.

5. Answer every question asked to you with 'fuck if I know!' then call the person a racial slur that doesn't even match their race.

4. Brag about the fact that you own a gun, and keep playing with your nuts. Get them really sweaty, and then walk around shaking everyone's hand.

3. Run down the hall with your dick out while urinating all over and yell, 'It won't stop! God help me! It don't stop!' Then when it stops... look down and say... 'Oh!'

2. Ask to borrow someone's pen- bring it to the bathroom - stick it in your butt - return it and tell the person to smell it - when they tell you that it smells bad - be like, 'It should! I had it in my butt!'

1. Shit on the floor in your office and when someone comes in and sees it, tell them it's the fake plastic kind- when they try to pick it up, and realize that their hand is full of shit, laugh and point.

Animals need rescuing as well!

Animals need rescuing as much as people, in the vicious wake of hurricane Katrina please consider donating to the humane society's animal disaster relief effort.

http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com

Our Disaster Animal Response Teams go to the rescue of animals in communities devastated by hurricanes and floods. You can help by making an emergency gift today. *Click here.*

Dear Friend,

It is a race against time. At this very moment, thousands of pets are stranded in New Orleans and Mississippi - scared, alone, and in some cases on the path to starvation.

We are their last hope. That's why I'm writing to ask if you could support us today by making *a special donation to the Disaster Relief Fund of The Humane Society of the United States.*

I'm on the ground in the Hurricane Katrina disaster area, directing 180 highly trained members of our Disaster Animal Response Teams. Even as you read this, our team members are in the hardest-hit areas, running search and rescue missions to save stranded pets and operating temporary shelters to evaluate, treat, and house those rescued animals.

Our entire relief effort is funded by donations from people like you, and we desperately need your support. *Please make an emergency contribution to our Disaster Relief Fund today.* If you've already made a contribution to HSUS's Disaster Relief Fund, thank you so much! Your tax-deductible gift will be used exclusively for our disaster animal relief work.

We're committed to being here as long as it takes. Please keep the human and animal victims in your thoughts, and please consider *making an emergency donation today* to help our disaster relief teams save as many stranded and injured animals as possible. My dedicated corps of professionals and volunteers here in the disaster zone sends our gratitude.

Sincerely,

Laura Bevan
Incident Commander
HSUS National Disaster Animal Response Team Jackson, Mississippi

*P.S.* As the leader of our on-the-ground disaster relief efforts, I can tell you first-hand that the difficult and dangerous task of saving animals' lives in disaster situations is vital not only to the animals, but to the people who love them, too. *Any support you can provide for our animal relief work is deeply appreciated.*

PTA Theft, or mom goes to jail?

Stealing from the schools? tsk, tsk.. some people will just go that low. This actually doesn't surprise me much since it's commonly known that people living in NYC have no morals at all, unlike here in DC. You wont find stories like this in our local media, I know; because I looked!!

Woman charged with $40K in PTA theft

BY HERBERT LOWE
STAFF WRITER

September 8, 2005

The former president of a Queens elementary school PTA allegedly stole $40,000 from the group's funds in what officials are calling the largest such theft in city history. Laura AlQaisi, 38, who led the PTA at PS 152 in Woodside from 1996 to 2003, was released without bail Wednesday after being arraigned on grand larceny and other charges in Criminal Court in Kew Gardens. She was arrested on Tuesday outside her home in Flushing, prosecutors said. Shielding herself from the media behind a black blazer, her sister and court officers, AlQaisi offered no comments while rushing from the courthouse and into a cab on Queens Boulevard.

"At the end of the day here the numbers that we're hearing are not going to be totally correct or not correct at all," AlQaisi's attorney, Eugene Levy, told Judge Mary O'Donoghue. Prosecutors said AlQaisi admits not depositing into the PTA's bank account $23,400 the school's students raised through the sale of chocolate and other items from 1999 to 2003.

AlQaisi, who handled all financial matters during her presidency, also wrote out numerous PTA checks totaling $16,600 to herself or payable to "cash" and concealed it by controlling the records and checkbook, prosecutors said. In one instance, they said, she signed a $3,300 check to herself but wrote in the register it was for a $48 "candy sale reimbursement." "PS 152's parents, teachers and students have spent many years raising tens of thousands of dollars for a school computer room -- only now to see that dream callously erased by the defendant, who allegedly used the association's funds as her own private piggy bank," Queens District Attorney Richard Brown said in a statement. "Her alleged conduct is a betrayal of the trust of the parents who elected her to serve as their leader."

The theft was first discovered last year after AlQaisi's successor as president, Laura Druiett, reported to the school's principal, Robert Burke, that the association did not have as much money in the bank as expected. Officials from the city Department of Education investigated and then confronted AlQaisi in April 2004. A month later, she produced receipts totaling about $6,000 for teacher supplies and student awards. But she stopped returning the investigators' calls after May 2004, sources familiar with the investigation said.

"We definitely want restitution," said Marge Feinberg, a spokeswoman for the education department. If convicted, AlQaisi faces up to 7 years in prison.

Drunk man snoozes on train track

Wow, you think the train would have made more noise than that, enough to wake this guy at least. I guess he really was lucky that he was that drunk. crazyness.

Russian survives snooze on train track
A Russian man who fell asleep between train tracks failed to wake up when a 140-tonne cargo train passed over him.
Vladimir Rasimov passed out and fell asleep between the tracks as he took a short cut home after going out with some friends in a bar.
The train driver saw somebody on the line and braked sharply. When rescuers tried to pull the drunken sleeper from underneath the carriages the man was still sleeping. Unfortunately the rescuers failed and the train had to carry on to free him.

Train driver Vladimir Slabiy said: "I saw a man lying between the tracks and tried to stop, but it was too late. The train went right over him and I thought he must have been killed." "But when I got out and checked he was still lying there fast asleep." "If he had woken up from the noise of the train he would have lifted his head and been hit by the undercarriage and that would have been the end of him. It was lucky he was so drunk."

Gravestone kills binge drinker

BAHAHAHAHAHA!!! omg, that's just too funny. Who takes shortcuts through cemeteries when drunk? that would be way toooo creepy for me. Now you may be saying, "mattb, how can you laugh at this story, a woman has died." and to that I say read this story carefully and you'll see that this woman was about to shit on someone's final resting place, so see that she's not entirely innocent in the matter.

Drunk Woman Dies In Freak Cemetary Accident

September 7, 2005 4:33 p.m. EST

Hector Duarte Jr. - All Headline News Staff Reporter

Brussels, Belgium (AHN) - Belgian news agency Belga reports a drunk woman died in a freak accident, when she ended up beneath a heavy grave stone at a cemetery. The 33-year-old was on her way home from a bar in the town of Pulle when she decided to take a short cut through the cemetery during the early hours of Saturday.

She got the urge to go to the bathroom, ducked down between two gravestones, losing her balance and grabbed one of the gravestones, which gave way and landed on her. The public prosecutor's office says she died of suffocation as she could not lift the gravestone off her.

The real looters in NOLA.

It's not often that I'm truly appalled. That's completely disgusting. just, wow...

Brian Krebs on Computer Security
Posted at 06:00 PM ET, 09/ 7/2005
Missouri Attorney General To Sue Katrina Phisher

The Missouri attorney general today filed civil charges against an Internet scam artist I wrote about last Thursday who was running a hub of Web sites that claimed to be accepting donations on behalf of Hurricane Katrina relief efforts.

Today a Missouri federal judge signed a temporary restraining order against Frank Weltner, 64, of St. Louis, Mo., that prohibits him from accepting donations through the slew of Web sites he registered with names like www.donate-katrina.com, www.clergydonations.com, and www.internetdonations.org. Weltner is also the owner of JewWatch.com, a decidedly anti-Semitic Web site.

According to the Missouri AG's complaint, Weltner conveniently "omitted the fact that the ultimate company behind the Defendants’ websites support white supremacy and that the money raised from the consumers will be only for use to help white victims of the hurricane."

The state is seeking to shutter the fake donation site and to freeze the assets of Internet Donations Inc., the nonprofit entity Weltner registered the day after our first blog post about him (and after he was already accepting donations through his site). The New York Times also ran a story on the Missouri legal action in on its Web site today.

hey, this is fun.

oh yeah check it. gotta staayy away.. gotta keep it alive, ya jive!?!?

http://saty-home.com/prouge/pro.php?proid=28

werd.

SAIC IPO

OH shit i am ever excited about this, I'm going to be fuckin' rich! Although I don't agree with the move in principal and will not vote in support of the decision, it's good to know we'll all be taken care of.

SAIC Announces IPO

Science Applications International Corp., a government contractor specializing in high-tech systems, plans a $1.73 billion initial public offering, the company disclosed Sept. 1 in a filing with the Securities and Exchange Commission.

The move will mark the end of an era for San Diego-based SAIC, which has been employee-owned since its founding in 1969.

SAIC said in its federal filing that it hopes to use the IPO’s proceeds to pay a special dividend and put into short-term investments. Ultimately, the company plans to use the money to fund organic growth, as well as growth by acquisition.

SAIC had net income of $409 million on revenue of $7.2 billion for its 2005 fiscal year, ended Jan. 31. The company had net income of $351 million on revenue of $5.8 billion in fiscal 2004.

Underwriters are Bear, Stearns & Co. Inc. and Morgan Stanley.

The company plans to trade on the New York Stock Exchange under the symbol SAI.

The company has 42,500 employees.

– Brad Graves

Wolves make great pets

Ha ha ha... His pet tiger ate one of his dogs! that's so sad. update: I noticed this same story in the Washington Post Express two full days after it had first been reported here.

Official defends keeping wolves as pets

Sep 1, 12:03 PM (ET)

ROME (Reuters) - An Italian minister who revealed he is keeping wolves as pets told authorities Wednesday to feel free to come and investigate as he always needed "fresh meat."

Animal rights groups have accused Reforms Minister Roberto Calderoli of breaking the law by owning wild animals and the Forest Department has promised to look into the affair.

"If anyone wants to visually ascertain what type (of wolves) they are, they're welcome. We always need fresh meat," he responded in Corriere della Sera.

Calderoli, a firebrand leader of the populist Northern League party, told La Stampa daily earlier this week he had the experience needed to look after the wolf cubs and had previously kept a tiger.

"I know how to manage them. Here in the villa, in Bergamo, I had a tiger for a year," he said, adding that he eventually had to get rid of the tiger because it ate a dog.

He could face up to eight months in jail for illegal possession of wild animals.

"He is a minister and should set a good example, not put himself on the same level as traffickers in endangered species," said Giovanni Guadagna, with Italy's anti-vivisection league.